Finding the time as an entrepreneur
Your day begins at 8am and it ends at 1am.
Between the job that pays the bills, the kids, the husband, the home schooling, the breakfasts, the lunches and the dinners you might have found 20 minutes at 12:35am to finally do SOMETHING for your business. By the time your head hits the pillow it's 1:30am. You've got 6 hours before you have to get up and do it all over again.
You're exhausted all the time.
You feel like you're always behind. You're holding it together for now but you're disappointed in how little you're able to get done for your business endeavours. Everything always seems to come before it.
And seeing others succeed while you're over here struggling is so disheartening.
I promise you one thing...YOU are not the problem. And there are ways to support yourself that help you create a more manageable and less exhausting outcome.
How we spend our time matters to us.
But most of us didn’t learn the skill of time creation.
We were instead conditioned to be followers of time rather than leaders of it.
Time creation and learning to LEAD your time is a killer skill to learn as both an entrepreneur and a human. It makes a MASSIVE difference in creating a business and life that is fulfilling and impactful rather than life sucking and overwhelming.
Over the years, I’ve noticed three common stumbling blocks that new and aspiring entrepreneurs come up against as they learn to lead and create their time.
Below, I’ve shared these three common blocks as well as some helpful prompts for you to start wiggling them loose. I hope they help.
BLOCK ONE
You're able to find time for others but not for yourself
Most people I work with come to me with an amazing ability to find time for meetings, appointments, boss requests, taking family members to the doctor, picking up the kids from school, the list goes on.
These to-do’s don’t often feel great.
In fact, most find themselves frustrated and even angry that they have to spend their time on all of these things.
But they’ll do it. They’ll make the time for these things that frustrate and annoy them.
Why? Because they feel like they are obligated to. They think they “have” to.
What they won’t do is make time for the things they want.
Why? Because they feel like if they do, they are being selfish. The things they want are nice-to-haves rather than essentials.
As humans, we're often REALLY good at making time for other people and not so great at making time for ourselves. Because of this, we’ll resent those who are taking up all this time not recognizing that we’re giving it to them.
This can be difficult to hear.
I know it was for me when I first came up against this.
I would get really defensive about it.
“But those are things I HAVE to do!” I would think to myself (or even say out loud to my coach when she challenged me)
At the time, I couldn’t fathom saying no. And I couldn’t see any other solution.
It felt vulnerable and unsafe. It hits me right in my primal survival button.
It felt WAY more comfortable to say no to myself and yes to everyone else…even if I didn’t WANT to say yes.
Can you relate?
The good news: You’re great at creating time for others.
The new skill: Learn to direct that skill towards your own endeavours…even just a little bit.
To start, learn to recognize your business endeavours as important.
Because THEY ARE.
Allow yourself to be a bit selfish. Recognize how you will show up better for others as a product of doing so. And recognize how your business – what you offer as a product or service – will benefit others.
The number one regret of those on their death bed is “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”.
Your desires are important.
Your desire to be in business for yourself and to make an impact on the world around you is important.
You do not want to be that person on your death bed, wishing you had done things differently.
Honouring your desires more than you do now, is an important first step.
When we hear this sort of thing, we tend to think in extremes. Instead, start to think in terms of baby steps. You don’t have to do this perfectly. And I’m NOT telling you to drop everything or to tell your boss to fuck off.
One step at a time, friend.
The exercise…
Ask yourself:
Where would I like to create one hour for myself that’s non-negotiable?
Why is it important to me to set this time aside?
How will setting this time aside for me, benefit others?
What would I have to remove from that time slot?
What scares me about shifting that thing?
How can I address that fear and help myself feel safe?
BLOCK TWO
Your time for others is focused but your time for your own projects is diluted with other things
There's nothing wrong with multi-tasking and for some tasks it works really well. That being said, it can be interesting to notice how we treat different commitments in our lives.
Are you really good at setting aside focused, contained and dedicated time each week for other people?
Again, this can come from the belief that tasks for other people are more important than what you’re wanting to do for yourself or your business.
Can you relate?
The good news: You’re great at creating time for others
The new skill: Learn to direct that skill towards your own endeavours.
The exercise…
Ask yourself:
What could it look like to treat your own projects or desires with the same amount of reverence and importance that you treat other people’s needs?
What would become possible if you were to give your project or desire your undivided attention?
How would you show up differently to your family if you were feeling fulfilled in the ways you’re spending your time?
BLOCK THREE
You’re in the process of up-leveling your time management skills
Growing up, a lot of our time is determined for us. Our parents determine our time. Our hobbies determine our time. School determines our time. Employers determine our time.
Everyone outside of you is telling you where you need to be and when. Those decisions are made for you and all you have to do is follow the plan. You don’t have to prioritize, make those particular decisions or say no. Your energy is solely focused on showing up.
That can start to change as we get older but many of us can stay stuck in the same model. We’ll continue relying on our partners, our kids, our bosses, our parents to tell us where to be and when. We forget that we have agency in those decisions and we forget that owning our time allows us to own our lives.
For those of you who are a) stubbornly independent (like myself) and b) desiring entrepreneurship, one of the skills that is necessary is learning to create your own schedule and make your own decisions about your time.
Learn the art of prioritization, boundary-setting and saying no.
Learn how to understand how long things truly take and how to assess and audit your time to make sure that it’s being spent in the places where it’s most needed.
Learn how to ask for help.
Time management requires vulnerability and honesty.
It may require asking your partner for help with the kids.
Or telling your boss you can’t make it to that particular meeting.
It may require calling yourself out (kindly) on the places where you’re “bleeding” time by mindlessly checking social media.
It might require condensing your verbage in your calls so that you get to the point more efficiently.
Can you relate?
The good news: You know how to show up to the time you have for things
The new skill: Start taking ownership of the decision-making around your time. Even if there are things on your calendar that you don’t want to do, own them as YOUR decision to have them in there.
The exercise…
Ask yourself:
Where am I taking on too much?
Where am I saying yes when I really mean NO?
When am I pushing away help from others?
Am I being efficient with my time, or am I letting time run away without realizing it.
IN CONCLUSION
Time is one of the most precious resources in our lives.
Learning to create it for yourself and for your business is a priceless skill.
It’s a skill that will allow you to look back at your life knowing that you OWNED your time and that you directed it in ways that were important to you.
And I know it’s what you would want for others. For them to feel satisfied with the ways in which they spend their precious time.
I know it’s what you would want for yourself too.
Copy those reflection questions above and answer them.
Want to hear more insights about time? Check out this instagram post. I hope it helps!
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